A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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why did the boy get hit by a bus? because he was black

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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Chip and Dale walk into a bar. Chip is black now.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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why did the little girl fell off the bed? because she saw his father rape her sister after killing his mother years ago, and every time she goes to sleep, she remembers that and the images come back to haunt her

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops