Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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