knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops