If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are black violets are black i am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops