Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops