Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than getting an erection in church Getting an erection while naked in church

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

69

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops