Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops