A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

black people

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what has genitial warts? me

thumb_up thumb_down +19

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops