How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Oh, go away

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops