I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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I am quite mature.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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