A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the old man say? Im old

thumb_up thumb_down +14

poop

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops