What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops