Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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hard cheese

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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why ya gotta be so rude? cause i can

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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