Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Brain fart

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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