whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Women's rights.

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Yo Mama just died.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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mitchell palmer sucks

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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