Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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