What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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Knock knock come in.

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops