Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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TOP KEK

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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poop

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Sir, your wife is dead

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops