roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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