I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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Check this web out www.hurr-durr.com

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

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catlin: hi Thomas: shut up bich 12 assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssl;

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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