roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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