Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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What's worse than finding a worm in the apple you're eating? Many things could be worse than that, from the less severe e.g. Finding half a worm in the apple you're eating to the more severe, such as the total collapse of civilization.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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