Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

h

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black man walks into a store and buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops