Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

Your mother is so fat.

So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

Large 4

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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