How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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