Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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I walk into a bar...

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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think twice or at least think

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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