Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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don't just stand there

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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