Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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