So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asked the bartender. "It's genetic." replied the horse, amazed at the man's incapability to understand horses.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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Women's Rights...

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops