What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

FUCK YOU

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

What is better than tissues? Correct!

What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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