how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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