A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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sorry, that was a really bad joke, joking just joking, of course we can chat later, you got something in particular to do?

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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