Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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Black people.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops