why wont me daughter eat my feces

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

the bible

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

thumb_up thumb_down -40

- Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

thumb_up thumb_down -40

were you expecting a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops