Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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A black man walks into a movie theatre... And pay for a ticket that would grant him access to watch the verity Of movies available to watch that month of screening. He picks the warhorse which was critically acclaimed by many respected critics. He watched and observed the positive and negative points of the the film. When it ended he took a long a ride home on the number 76 bus to ibswitch road where he lived during that time, and wrote about his opionion on the movie and how he thought the movie could be improved. He done this same routen for another six months, every saturday, until he died of aids shorty after a homosexual fling.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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