21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

thumb_up thumb_down -4

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your momas so stupid she s going back to school to become a responsible adult

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops