Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

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Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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hi

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Matthew Baker

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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