1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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