Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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Why did little john fall off his bike? Somebody threw microwave oven at him.

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Roses are red, Bacon is also red. Poems are hard, Bacon.

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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What's a foot long and slippery A dick

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Your mother just died.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ........

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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Julian Ha.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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don't read this

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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