How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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Joesph Triphook.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops