What is green and slow Grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops