Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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why do you put a baby in the blender feet first to see its expression

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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The Princess is in another castle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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