When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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A guy walks into a bar

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops