- Anti Joke

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

i am a dino. RAWR.

A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

Knock knock I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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