What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -28

So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats up with that? i'm from jersy

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -28

WILLY

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

thumb_up thumb_down -28

OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops