Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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