What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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