Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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