Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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swag

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops