Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

thumb_up thumb_down +20

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +18

BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops