What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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