so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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eat a hot dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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